Whitefriars Lane
by rainjewel
Summary: Zelgadis has a secret that he's been hiding from the group. He reaches the point where he desperately needs to cure himself, but the cost is high. Too high. Implied ZL; XZ. Kudos to whoever recognizes which play I took Xellos' song from.


Whitefriars Lane By: rainjewel  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Slayers, I just put them in therapy.  
  
Timeline: Post-TRY  
  
Rated: TBA  
  
Warnings: Dark. Icky. Oh, and people fucking.  
  
Author's Note: I know the world of Slayers is light-hearted and silly. I know it's a comedy, and I love it for never taking itself seriously. That way I can write tons of dark, serious fics and have a ball doing it. I will not take lightly to being flamed for non-canon couples, yaoi/yuri, or people offended by a gritty, depressing fic. But I will recommend said people good therapists. The world is an open place that can hold many opinions. I respect the opinion of people who adore canon couples and dislike yaoi/yuri. Please respect mine and if you cannot, please do not read this work of fiction.  
  
+ + +  
  
When I looked into the mirror this morning I noticed it. A thin stream, only a trail of a few droplets, but quite apparent. It started this way several years ago. I knew it was coming, I could feel it in my bones as my attacks grew weaker and my speeds lessened.  
  
I quietly touch my neck now, feeling where the blood tracked down. It is gone now, washed away with this morning's bath water. It always starts in my right ear and finds its way to the folds of my collar. I can still see myself, so young, cupping my hand to the side of my face as I ran trembling to my mother. I close my eyes and find that I am still trembling, all these years later.  
  
Lina is waiting outside my door when I finally leave my room at the local tavern.  
  
"You missed breakfast," she says, leaning against a wall. She gives me a quick "up-down" with her eyes. I glower and pull up my mask and hood. "Amelia and Gourry are all ready downstairs ready to go. You okay?"  
  
"Of course. I was busy this morning," I reply.  
  
"Oh?" Lina says. She perks up. "Busy with what? Hopefully not anything to do with a journey all on your lonesome, eh?"  
  
"I ran out of coffee," I say. It's not a lie. I am out of coffee.  
  
Lina smirks. "Well I suppose that is an emergency. Come on, let's go!"  
  
She flashes me a custom victory sign and darts down the stairs. I follow easy enough. My heart is heavy as I watch her meet up with Amelia and Gourry. I've been with these people for the past three years, fought beside them, laughed beside them, and gained friendships so strong that it makes me want to scream.  
  
Three years. That's all I'll have. Three damn good years.  
  
+ + +  
  
When you're six years old, it's hard to understand that you're dying.  
  
My parents tried explaining it to me. They did it with tears in their eyes, using lectures, diagrams, books, and even puppets. I couldn't fathom it. How was I, a young child with hardly a care in the world, supposed to understand that I was going to die before I ever reached my twelfth birthday?  
  
But my parents were killed. Bandits raided our town and slaughtered its inhabitants at random. I, a weak child could do nothing and watched them die before my eyes.  
  
Then I understood just how terrible death was.  
  
At ten years old and failing fast, my grandfather came for a visit. He had heard of the bandit raid and came to our village, too late to help anyone but survivors, of course. Later I would learn the bandits were working for him.  
  
Yet, as he pulled me from beneath the wreckage and held me in his arms, I never thought I'd loved another human being that much. He told me that he was going to take care of me. He told me he knew I was sick, but he was going to make everything better. We left for one of his many mansions after a tearful burial of all the victims of the raid. In one arm he had me cradled to his chest, the other was home to another young survivor, a girl by the name of Eris.  
  
And so was the beginning of this nightmare.  
  
+ + +  
  
Back on the road again. I love travelling-I adore the freedom it allows and the wild adventures I have been a part of with Lina and her other companions. However, all good things must come to an end.  
  
Xelloss, bane of my existence, is once again pressed to my side, chattering away. All bad things, I think to myself, must end as well. I grin wickedly.  
  
"Enough!" I finally shout when the twit makes another comment on the hardness of my.my.body. A few Fireballs later and he's toasty enough to hang back by Amelia for awhile. I jog up to Lina.  
  
"Hey Zel, what's up?" she asks as I join her at the front of the group. "Xelloss finally profess his undying love to you?"  
  
"Some things Lina," I reply dryly, "You should never even joke about, like the size of your bre-"  
  
"Hey! All right, all right!" She gently elbows me in the side so that neither of us end up hurt.  
  
"So where are we going?" I ask her.  
  
Lina shrugs. "Sairaag, but there aren't any legendary Dark Lords that need to be tossed out of existence so my destination isn't set in stone."  
  
"This peace-it's different, isn't it?" I comment. She nods. "Say Lina, have you ever considered visiting the Ring of Bellaine?"  
  
Lina stumbles at the name. "The Ring of Bellaine? The ancient holy ground?"  
  
"Yes, where mages went to gain power and replenish themselves in time immemorial," I reply, softer this time. Our speed quickens slightly, so that we pull away from the group.  
  
Lina gives me her full attention. "Zel, no one knows where that is!"  
  
"I do," I whisper. Lina's jaw drops.  
  
"And you never told me!" she hisses. Sirens are going off behind her eyes.  
  
"I'm not saying another word if you torch me." I hold my hands up.  
  
Lina sweatdrops. "Oh fine. So what's there now? At the Ring of Bellaine, I mean."  
  
"Now? Nothing but a bunch of hostile Mazoku. When the mages left so did the magic. Still it is a holy land, one the Gods and Monsters both hold dear," I explain.  
  
"No magic?" Lina says, incredulous. "Hostile Mazoku? Why do we want to go there?"  
  
I sigh. "I believe I can cure myself if I go there. Rezo once said something about the place."  
  
Lina knows I'm playing at something. She folds her arms and stops walking. I take another step then stop, my back to her fiery gaze.  
  
"Zel, it doesn't matter what you look like to any of us. You're fine the way you are and we don't need to go fight a bunch of Mazoku. Give yourself a chance as you are, Zel!" she says. "And besides, after you give it a shot and it doesn't work out, we can always find it later-we've got all the time in the world!"  
  
My heart jumps in my chest. I turn around and place a hand on Lina's shoulder so that I can look into her eyes.  
  
"No Lina," I say quietly, "I don't."  
  
+ + +  
  
Rezo, at one point or another, must have loved me. At least that's what I like to believe. During the ten years I spent with him, he tried everything he could to cure me of this silent, yet deadly affliction I suffer from.  
  
It's not a condition. It's a disease, one that lives in my blood. Thanks to the sacrifice of a few good mice, we found that out.  
  
Rezo had various ways of prolonging my life, all of them failures. No matter how many experimental "solutions" he tried, they only lasted for about a month. After a handful of weeks I'd once again feel that telltale warm trickle coursing down my neck, and the treatments would begin again.  
  
Those treatments-ah, I've never known such pain. Once I ate nothing but raw meat for days. Another, I spent being dowsed with heavy exorcism rituals by priestesses of some dark cult. The worst (and last) was when I had almost all my blood drained from my body and replaced by that of donors. I have never been weaker in my life. These treatments were all based on Rezo's guesswork and powered by his enormous magical prowess. It hurt him to see me put through such torture-he did love me-until Shabranigdo began tearing his soul to pieces.  
  
I remember when I finally put an end to it. We were sitting in Rezo's large dining hall. Rezo was smiling on as Eris and I argued over our favorite type of cheese. She had just said something about the "yum factor" of provolone when I felt it.  
  
It comes quietly. One minute everything is dandy then.I hear it-I can hear the blood filling in my head, ready to spill down from my ear. My equilibrium disappears, and then all I can feel is that warm stream rolling down my neck.  
  
I remember how I quietly lifted my napkin and mopped it up from the side of my face. Eris' chatter ceased abruptly. I slowly swiveled my gaze to meet hers, and I knew she understood that I was giving up. I remember her breaking down into tears.  
  
I had looked to Rezo then, my face and voice calm.  
  
"I'm not going through another test," I had said quietly.  
  
It was the first time I had seen Rezo look sad.  
  
"Very well, Zelgadis, very well," he had said, nodding.  
  
In a week he would pull out his last and most desperate solution-cursing me with a chimerical form.  
  
+ + +  
  
"All right, we'll shack up here for the night," Lina calls out to everyone. Amelia and Gourry fall on their knees in utter relief. We are just outside the grounds of the Ring of Bellaine. She has come here, traveled for a harsh week, simply to please me. It is a notion that brings a fair amount of joy to my failing heart.  
  
She knows me. She knows that there is something different about me, and she also knows not to ask questions. I want to walk over and give her my thanks, but she's bickering with Gourry over a prime spot by the campfire, so I save my gratitude for later.  
  
"Zelgadis-san?" Amelia pops up at my side. "Would you mind collecting firewood with me?"  
  
I smile at those pretty blue eyes. "Of course not."  
  
Amelia smiles widely and thanks me. Together we head off to the surrounding woods. It's twilight now, and dry wood is hard to find as the dew sets in. We gather the kindling in companionable silence for a while, but suddenly Amelia jerks her head to the left and stands up.  
  
" I don't think we should stay here much longer," she whispers, face white.  
  
"Amelia?" I ask, standing up. "What is it?"  
  
"There's something bad-" she stops and gasps.  
  
I hear it.  
  
//Rrrreeesssszzoo issss heeere// hisses a voice. A voice without a body and one that is certainly not human.  
  
"Rezo?" Amelia whispers.  
  
//Rrrreeesssszzoo issss heeere. Hissss blloood isss weeeak.//  
  
My eyes widen. I'm frantically searching the woods with the eyes of a demon, but I see nothing. I want to send Amelia to go get help, but I don't know where the enemy is.  
  
//Rrrreeesssszzoo caaaannoooottttt coommmme heeere. Weee muusssstt fiinnnd hhhiiimm, hissss blloood isss weeeak.//  
  
My jaw falls as I understand what is happening. My blood, not Rezo's is weak. But his genes flow in my veins. I realize that this voice is talking about me.  
  
Oh shit.  
  
"Amelia," I say, stepping close to her. "Go and get Lina and the others."  
  
Red eyes begin to come into view through the trees. Amelia is staring at the forest as if she hasn't heard a word I said. Suddenly a magic blast comes from the depth of the forest, and we both jump to the side away from the blaze.  
  
"Mazoku!" She looks wildly around.  
  
"Amelia!" I say harshly. She jumps as my hand lands on her shoulder. Huge eyes turn to look at me. "Go and get Lina and the others. Now!"  
  
She shakes as she looks at me, but she dashes off in the direction of camp.  
  
//Rrrreeesssszzoo muusssstt nnoooottttt eennntteeerr thhhee Rrrrriiiiinnggg. Hissss blloood isss weeeak.//  
  
So that's it. The Mazoku don't want Rezo, a former great mage, to enter the Ring of Bellaine. I smile-it's just how I thought. The Ring gives power to the mage. Power enough to threaten Mazoku, I suppose, seeing as how they're so territorial all of a sudden.  
  
The Mazoku, still unseen, attack again. Three beams of pure dark energy fly my way. I raise a protective barrier against them. The spell takes most of the power from the blasts, but they still make it through my magic. I grit my teeth as I'm tossed back a good fifty yards. I plow straight through a boulder, a collision that leaves my ears ringing.  
  
"ZEL!"  
  
I look to see Lina running from the distance, Amelia and Gourry beside her. In an instant the tall swordsman is hauling me to my feet as Lina and Amelia produce another protection barrier.  
  
"They think I'm Rezo," I say, dusting off my clothes.  
  
"Who's that?" Gourry asks. Lina simmers and Amelia rolls her eyes.  
  
"I don't care who they think you are, they're pissing me off," Lina replies, voice dark. She turns to me with a grin. "Well Zel, it looks as if we'll be going to the Ring of Bellaine tonight. That all right?"  
  
I smile, pointed teeth gleaming. "Of course."  
  
All four of us grin wickedly.  
  
"LET'S DO IT!" Lina screams. The girls drop the barrier and we charge towards the forest.  
  
+ + +  
  
Long before I crashed Lina's first "Get Together Party" with Koppi Rezo I had been researching as to who had put the price on our heads and why. It didn't take me long to learn that Eris was making the claims against us, however I never did find out about Koppi until I met him. I figured she was vengeful-she had always loved Rezo, no matter what he did to her.  
  
She wasn't expecting me to fight her, I suppose. She had figured once I was captured I would hook back up with her again. She had been my surrogate sister through all the times with Rezo, but there was no way in all the hells I would ever work for a Koppi that was the embodiment of Rezo when he was being controlled by Shabranigdo. It was a creation that blasphemed my true grandfather and was utterly vicious.  
  
But despite the fact that I seem to enjoy being a "cold and heartless" swordsman, it is without doubt that I am quite empathetic towards others. I couldn't just become her enemy so simply.  
  
I went to see her. After that confrontation with the Koppi and the introduction of Sylphiel and Amelia I left. I walked straight up to the mansion Koppi Rezo was occupying and knocked on the door. I was attacked immediately by a ragtag fishman, but stone skin is hard to break. Eris was quick to come to the door.  
  
"Zelgadis." she whispered. For a second she didn't look like a fierce woman in black leather, but rather the young girl I once knew, who argued about silly things like cheese.  
  
"I didn't come to fight, Eris. And I didn't come to join up with you and.that thing." I didn't want her to misunderstand my intentions.  
  
Her eyes narrowed at the last comment. Before she could say anything, I quickly reached out and cast a quick healing spell on the arm I had cut during the earlier fight. I don't know why she hadn't bothered to do it herself. Her eyes immediately softened.  
  
"It's hard to remain this tough, isn't it?" I asked softly, too quiet for human ears to hear.  
  
Eris looked as if she was debating between inviting me in or blasting my rocky hide back out the door. Instead she closed her eyes for a second, then leaned forward and hugged me. I received a spiked shoulder pad to the side of the face, which did nothing to said rocky hide.  
  
"I hate you for what you've done," she said, voice sad. I nodded, and hugged her gently. There was so much more to this awkward embrace then words could ever hope to convey. It was the embrace of enemies who wish they weren't on opposite sides, equally hating each other and the battle- and still caring desperately about one another. Eris thought that after this final battle was over and she was victorious I'd come back to her and we'd be a happy family again. I thought that after this battle she'd join our merry troupe of mavericks and we'd spend the rest of our days together.  
  
It never occurred to either of us that she was going to die in the next days. I had always thought I was going to die long before she.  
  
"Don't fight for this man, Eris," I said as she pulled away. "It's.it's not him. He wasn't like this."  
  
Eris just looked at me, stubborn as always, both of us knowing how fruitless my words had been. She had scratches on her cheek from my needle- like hair. With an annoyed look she wiped the blood from her face.  
  
"I always forget that you're a chimera now." I reached out and healed her scratches.  
  
"You're the only person that's left to remember what I used to be like," I say, depressed at that thought.  
  
We stood there for a moment, just looking at one another and remembering our past.  
  
"So," she said, "What makes these people you're with so special?"  
  
I was vague. "They are my only friends in the world. I wish you'd come with us."  
  
She shook her head. "I love him, Zelgadis." I nodded.  
  
"I have to leave. I'm sorry our fates are turning out this way," I said quietly. I stepped back through he doorway, still looking at her. She raised one gloved hand.  
  
"Wait, Zelgadis," she said. Quickly she withdrew a slip of paper from her boot. She held it out to me.  
  
I took it gingerly. "What's this?"  
  
Tears began dripping from her eyes. "I.I was going to use this against you. After you left Rezo.well he wasn't himself.but he showed me this one day. It's your cure, Zelgadis."  
  
I stared at her. My throat was dry, my tongue felt as heavy as my skin.  
  
"It's an incantation that Rezo devised. It's only supposed to work for him," Eris whispered. Her face was dry now. She reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder. "You'll need an amplifier to create the power he had, but your blood will suffice to use the spell."  
  
"I.I.Thank you, Eris," I whispered lamely. I placed my hand over hers.  
  
"Zelgadis," she said, voice changing to a warning tone, "You know what this will do to you, don't you?"  
  
I nodded. Her luminous orange eyes began filling with tears again. I silently raised her hand to my lips and kissed it once. For all my tactlessness and thick-skinned ways, every once in a while I have a shining moment of sensitivity. It was hard, but I dropped her hand afterwards and didn't drag her back to Lina and the others.  
  
"Goodbye Eris," I whispered. She was holding her hand.  
  
"Goodbye, Zelgadis." She looked young.  
  
I turned away from her before I did something I'd regret. We both parted then, and hardened ourselves for what was going to happen in the days to come. Hardened ourselves until we were enemies once again.  
  
+ + +  
  
"RA-TILT!"  
  
The combined force of Amelia and I is pretty fierce. Our synchronized spell heads directly at the Mazoku. It won't do enough, we both know that, but it'll certainly stun the piss out of them for a while.  
  
Lina's firing away with large destructive spells as usual but she doesn't go as far as a Dragon Slave, thank L-sama. That'd be enough to wipe out the Ring of Bellaine with those demon's blood talismans of hers.  
  
A rippling blast comes towards us. Amelia dives out of the way, Lina sends a Fireball to counterattack and I join her. Gourry who has just actually cut down one of the foul creatures, however, doesn't move fast enough. The blast spears him in his side, ripping him sideways like a rag doll and tossing him back beside my disintegrated boulder. He doesn't get up.  
  
"Gourry!" Lina screams. Amelia's all ready running towards him. Lina growls and faces the woods once again. The Mazoku rarely come out from behind the trees, but we keep catching glimpses from time to time. She lets go with one very scary round of Elmekia Lances.  
  
"This is bad!" Amelia calls out to us. Her voice is frightened.  
  
"I'll cover you!" I yell. A blue blaze of fire comes from within the depths of the forest. Grabbing Lina who's setting half the damn world on fire, I run with demon speed over to where Amelia is with Gourry.  
  
"Lina!" I yell. She sees the magic coming and together we throw up a protective spell. The power slams into us and knocks her backward. My stone body is more resolute. As it was with the last time, the protection spell breaks, but I'm there to take it the blow.  
  
Much like it did with Gourry, the spell rips me to the side, away from the group and drops me a good distance away. A burning sensation slithers through my body and I can't help but groan at the pain. I see Lina look back at me wildly.  
  
"LOOK OUT!" I scream. Lina turns and sends a reflexive Fireball at the oncoming attack, but she's too late. The magic, slowed by her Fireball, still crashes into her as she falls back, trying to protect Amelia and Gourry. She squeaks, and then slumps to the ground.  
  
"Lina-san!" Amelia screams. She's white in the face and looks as bewildered as I've ever seen her. I run over to her side. Lina's tunic is bleeding through on the shoulder, and she's looking at me with eyes that jump weakly in their sockets. I reach out to heal her but she shakes her head.  
  
"No, save your energy," she whispers, "Amelia, heal Gourry. I'll handle myself. Zel, don't you just stand there!"  
  
I nod. Turning with absolute fury in my eyes, I run quickly to the edge of the forest. It's me they want, right? I'm the one with Rezo's blood, the blood they say is weak. But just wait.  
  
The words leave my mouth before I even think of the consequences.  
  
"Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows."  
  
I hear Amelia shrieking in the background.  
  
".Buried in the flow of time. I pledge myself to darkness."  
  
Gourry's up now, I can hear him asking why I'm casting Lina's spell.  
  
"Let the fools who stand before us be destroyed by the power you and I possess."  
  
I open my eyes, feeling the power surging within my body painfully, my hands twitching to release the spell. I smile as darkly as possible.  
  
"DRAGON SLAVE!"  
  
The woods dissolve before my eyes. Whatever Mazoku are in there, they're mighty uncomfortable now. The flames burst near me, but my skin is hardy enough to take the heat.  
  
The smoke clears. I realize I'm on my knees.  
  
Something warm runs down my neck. My eyes widen, but then are shut tightly as I lean forward and cough up what must be a bucket of blood. I look up to see Mazoku slowly phasing into the wasteland that was once the forest. My stomach and chest spasm again, in pain as much as in horror. I fall completely to the ground now, gasping for air.  
  
"I think you all should leave," says a new voice. I look up to see Xelloss before me. He's addressing the returning Mazoku. "Unless you want to fight me, I suggest you retreat for now."  
  
In an instant, the Mazoku are gone and Xelloss turns around. I cough up blood again.  
  
"Zelgadis-san!" Amelia is running towards me.  
  
"NO!" I yell thickly. "Stay back Amelia! Damn it, stay away from me!"  
  
The princess slows. Gourry comes up behind her, followed by a wide-eyed Lina who is finishing the spell on her shoulder. She looks to me and immediately breaks past Amelia.  
  
"STAY BACK LINA!" I scream. I feel dizzy, and lower my head to the ground. She still keeps coming. "NO!"  
  
She stops, but then comes closer. "Zel! L-sama, what is wrong?"  
  
"Stay back Lina," I say weakly. Amelia is crying in the background.  
  
"No!" she says, "You need healing you stubborn jerk!"  
  
"Lina!" Xelloss steps between us. For once I'm actually glad his fruity ass is here.  
  
"Xelloss you bastard get out of my way! You weren't here when we needed you, now don't you dare keep us from getting Zel the help he needs!" she yells. Her hands raise up. "By L-sama I'll blast you into next week."  
  
"Lina, stop," I whisper. Xelloss turns to the side and I can see Lina's face. "I'm.sick, Lina. I'm.very.very sick."  
  
Amelia's hands reach her mouth. "What?"  
  
"It's.in the blood, and you'll get it.if you.touch me. I'm sorry. I'm too.weak to do the Dragon.Slave, but I.had to save.everyone," I say, my breath coming in harsh gasps.  
  
Lina starts. "That's why I need to heal you!"  
  
"You can't heal it," Xelloss says, shocking everyone into silence. I watch them now, too tired to speak and can only listen to the blood dripping out my ears.  
  
"Well I have to do something!" Lina screams. She looks to Xelloss, whose eyes are still closed but that annoying smile has disappeared. His eyebrows go up. "You can't get infected, Xelloss. You have got to help him."  
  
Xelloss' eyes flash open. "I-"  
  
Lina grabs his neck. "I'll destroy you if you don't."  
  
"Lina, you know I'm not threatened by that," he says easily. Lina's eyes flash red and a blush rises to her cheeks. With a look of determination, she suddenly yanks his head down and kisses him full on the mouth.  
  
"Lina-san!" Amelia screams. Gourry's jaw drops, and I wish I was dying a whole lot faster then this. In response to my wish I turn over and cough up more blood.  
  
"If you save his life, Xelloss, I'll give you what you want," she whispers.  
  
"NO!" I scream. I almost rise up, but end up falling to the blood-soaked ground anyway. I'm not there long, for Xelloss leans down and gently picks me up. I struggle as much as I possibly can.  
  
"Zel stop it!" Lina says, and it looks as if she's about to cry. I stop, looking at her, Gourry and Amelia as if I'm all ready gone.  
  
Mercifully, I pass out and away from this hell.  
  
+ + +  
  
Once Lina caught me. I was secretly following the group, something I did every once in a while instead of looking for a cure-a cure for this disease. Sometimes I need my space for a few days, but I never want to really leave the group out of fear something would happen. I'd never forgive myself if I lost them.  
  
It was a cold night, I remember. Lina had taken the second watch, which is always the worst-right in the middle of the night. I was a little ways away from the group, cutting my hair. I figured now was a good time since I was alone, and it takes a long time to snip every single hair on my head. I was frustrated, and in my irritation yanked a few strands out of my head. I of course then swore very loudly, which brought an investigating Lina Inverse my way.  
  
In short, it was a mess. I had taken off my cloak and tunic so that my clipped hair wouldn't slice through my clothes. In the dark, Lina didn't recognize me and I wasn't paying very close attention to my surroundings. So she drew back for a Fireball right when I sensed an intruder and leapt at her with my sword.  
  
We recognized each other right at the point where it was too late. Lina barely had time to dampen her Fireball and toss it onto a nearby bush that wasn't there much longer. My sword stopped an inch from her neck.  
  
"Lina!" I dropped my sword and stared dumbfounded.  
  
"ZEL-GAW-DISS!!" she screamed. Her eyes were narrowed and about as welcoming as a hornet's. With one tiny fist she jabbed me hard in the side. "OUCH! YOU JERK! YOU ALMOST GOT YOURSLEF KILLED, YOU KNOW THAT!" She jabbed me with her other hand. "OUCH!"  
  
I jumped out of range of her flying fists.  
  
"Hey!" I replied indignantly, "You snuck up on me."  
  
"Excuse me, but what the HELL are you doing out here ANYWAY!" Lina said, triumphantly grinning. I admit I didn't have an excuse for that one. I was stuttering some incoherent excuse when I noticed Lina's face turning rather pink. I wondered momentarily if my fly was open or something.and then I remembered I was half-naked.  
  
Lina would later say I shrieked like a little girl and ran off to get my shirt, but I disagree.  
  
Returning, I found Lina sitting on the log where I'd been cutting my hair. She was holding all of my discarded strands.  
  
"These are pretty, Zel," she whispered. "They're really shiny and the reflect all sorts of colors."  
  
"They're sharp," I warned. Lina, of course, pricked her finger immediately. I rolled my eyes and sat beside her.  
  
"So what gives, Zel?" she said, abandoning my chopped hair. "Why are you out here? Why didn't' you tell us you were out here?"  
  
"I'm just catching up with you. I didn't realize we were this close," I lied. "Stopped for a haircut before I came."  
  
"Sure ya did," Lina said, but she dropped the issue. I remember how much I appreciated that. Lina usually allows me my vague and cryptic remarks, unless she thinks I'm getting depressed.  
  
"So how are things?" I asked.  
  
Lina shrugged. "Oh fine. We're going to drop by Saillune to see Prince Philionel in a day or two. Amelia has some duties to attend to."  
  
She sighed, looking older and more exhausted then I'd ever seen her before.  
  
"Something on your mind, Lina?" For a second she seemed like she was going to tell me something, something important, but then changed her mind.  
  
"Nah. I'm just bored at the moment. Whoever thought killing bandits would get old so fast?" She grinned thinly. I shrugged in response. Lina shivered. She wasn't wearing her cape or gloves-most of us dress down during the night.  
  
"Here." I handed her my cloak. Lina looked at it a moment, then accepted. Her hands, I noticed were almost as blue as mine.  
  
"It's pretty cold tonight," she said absently. "It's not even windy."  
  
"I could start a fire," I offered.  
  
"No, it'll wake up Gourry and Amelia," she said. I was wondering why she wasn't going back to them.  
  
"Well.here, hold on a moment." Quickly I pulled off my fingerless gloves. I summoned my minimum power and created a small ball of fire and held it in my hands.  
  
"Zel! What're you doing?" Lina cried. My hands tingled and I quit the spell.  
  
"Give me your hands, Lina." She looked slightly confused but then held out her hands. I grasped each of them with mine, easily palming her smaller hands.  
  
She smiled. "I get it. Your skin holds heat. Thanks Zel!"  
  
"Not so much that it holds heat, rather, it absorbs it. My skin takes on the temperature of whatever it touches," I explained. "If you were to touch my face for example, it'd be like touching ice."  
  
"So how come you're not freezing to death?" she asked, cocking her head to the side.  
  
"My demon-third," I said, "It protects my human blood from freezing or boiling by keeping my skin from becoming too hot or cold to touch. In a way, everything balances out in my body."  
  
Lina nodded. "So how can you feel anything at all, if your skin is so insensitive?"  
  
I shrugged. "If I know I'm being touched it helps. But when I'm not I don't catch everything that brushes me. On a whole I'm pretty aware of my body. If I were to hold you hands like Gourry would, I'd crush the bones simply because I'm stronger." I winced as I finished that.  
  
"I'm sorry Zel," Lina said, she looked at my hands, which held hers, then back to my face. "I know you don't like to talk about it."  
  
"It's all right. You don't think I'm a monster." I looked down at our hands.  
  
Lina shook her head. "How could you be? Especially with stone skin that's rather." She looked down at my hands. ".Handy."  
  
"Ooh, that's a bad one," I said, pretending to gag. Lina grinned like a maniac.  
  
"Zel," she said. I remember how she paused then, how she took her hands out of mine and grabbed me by the wrists. I was surprised and all I could do was look into her eyes. "You'll never be anything different from anyone else in my eyes, cured or not. You're wonderful no matter what happens and I wouldn't trade our friendship for anything in the world, you hear me?"  
  
I think it was right then that I realized how much I loved her.  
  
+ + +  
  
I awaken to the feeling of a wet cloth upon my head. I feel cool air upon my hands and realize that my gloves, cloak, and boots are gone. The course fabric of economic inn sheets rubs against my frame. Someone is singing.  
  
"What a crowd in Whitefriars Lane!  
  
They've set trestles in a row With a scaffold and the knife, And a pail of bran below. Come, good folks, to Whitefriars Lane, Come to see the merry show!"  
  
A soothing hand cups the side of my face and dampens my cheeks with the cloth. I try to open my eyes or move my lips but nothing happens.  
  
"Good, keep singing. I think he's coming around," says a female voice. Is it.Lina?  
  
"The headsman rose at crack of dawn, He'd a long day's work in hand, Chopping heads of generals, Priests and peers and admirals, All the highest in the land. What a crowd in Whitefriars Lane!"  
  
"Xelloss! That's awful!"  
  
"See them standing in a line, Ladies all dressed up so fine. But their heads have got to go, Heads and hats roll down below. Come, good folks, to Whitefriars Lane, Come to see the merry show!"  
  
The Mazoku's voice dies away, and I struggle to surface from this black pit I've been thrust into. My body feels as if it's made of lead and for once I cannot move my stone arms.  
  
"Come on, Zel, wake up! I know you want to," whispers Lina. I feel her lips beside my ears. I cannot budge.  
  
"This might help." I feel Xelloss' cool hand upon my chest. My dark world freezes and then bursts into white light. I lose my minor grip on reality and reel in the bright whiteness for a moment.  
  
The light flows and ebbs as suddenly as it came. I open my eyes to a blurry inn room, bringing out the feel of the sheets around me and the smell of a nearby fireplace. As my vision comes to focus, Lina shifts before me and intense red eyes meet mine. Xelloss' hand withdraws. I look up, finding him levitating above us.  
  
"That should be enough strength for a relatively pleasant demonstration. Consider it a gift of instant recovery," chirps the Mazoku. He cocks his head to the side. "Listen to your body, Rock Boy. Feel the power begin coursing through your system. Imagine a life without this disease."  
  
I don't know what to say to him, or to Lina who is sitting quietly beside me. My blood feels as if it's lit by a pleasant fire, spreading strength to every nook and cranny of my being. My lungs expand with rich air, feeling powerful. I am suddenly aware of the might this body can possess.  
  
Experimentally, I reach out and wrap a hand around my sword, which is by the bed. I squeeze my fingers gently and it shatters in my fist.  
  
Lina gasps. "Zel.you're cured!"  
  
"Not quite," Xelloss counters. "Unless you have forgotten, Zelgadis, you will realize why the other members of your party aren't with us. We have something to discuss."  
  
An image of Lina pressed against Xelloss' tall, lean frame burns into my brain. I grab my head with my hands as if to stop it from entering my mind's eye, but nothing happens.  
  
"NO!" I scream and jump up from the bed. Lina is looking away from both Xelloss and i. "No! Take it back, Xelloss. I do not want to be cured!"  
  
Lina's head whips around. "Zel-"  
  
"Hush. No Xelloss. Take it back. I am not willing to pay this price."  
  
"But Zelgadis, you're not the one paying," the Mazoku says with a lazy grin. He lands lightly on the ground before me, then reaches out and grabs me by the collar. I struggle and break free of his grasp, surprising both of us.  
  
I fix him with a resolute glare. "I won't have it."  
  
"Must I remind you what you are with that sickness spreading through your skin!" Xelloss places a hand upon my chest again before I can react. The whiteness overcomes me again. I spin, dizzy, in pale nothingness. When it is over, I am on the floor, unable to move. Blood drips from my ears down my neck.  
  
"Xelloss!" Lina leaps up in front of me, standing with her hands on her hips. "If you do that again I will Dragon Slave you into another dimension. Stop toying around. Do what I asked of you and I promise you will have your reward."  
  
She turns and kneels beside me.  
  
"L-Lina, I-"  
  
She puts a finger to my lips. "Stop. I know what I'm doing. Listen to him Zel." She takes my hand and squeezes it. Xelloss sits down beside us.  
  
"Here are the facts: Zelgadis, you're dying. You worked heavy black magic, which you knew your diseased body couldn't handle. I can cure you and save your life." His voice is as cheerful as ever and it makes me nauseous.  
  
"I want all the facts, Xelloss," I spit.  
  
Xelloss sweatdrops. "I am going to increase the power of your demon and golem make-up in order to hold a large amount of chaotic energy. This energy will terminate the disease. If you're wondering if it'll make you a Mazoku, the answer is no."  
  
I smile thinly. "How powerful will I be?"  
  
Xelloss' eyes open and burn through the room. "Not powerful enough to kill me."  
  
"If I possessed a large amount of chaotic energy, I could never return to human form." I look at him with utter loathing and muster up as much venom as I can before I speak. "You stupid fruitcake. I want to be a human again, not some power-filled monstrosity. My cure is within my grasp-do you honestly think I'd give up now?"  
  
"If you use that silly parchment you'll be dead before dawn." Xelloss smirks. "But you all ready knew that."  
  
I wince at his words. He saw through me.  
  
Lina, who has been patiently standing beside us, suddenly starts. "Is this true?"  
  
I look away. "I have had my cure for quite some time now. I just need an amplifier like the holy ground of the Ring of Bellaine to use it. But if I became human I would-"  
  
"Die," Lina finishes. Even though I am looking away I can imagine the anger rising in her eyes.  
  
Xelloss blasts me with his violent purple eyes again, but his words are meant for Lina. "I am not the only one with secrets, Lina-chan."  
  
"None of this matters!" I scream, but it comes out as more of a whisper. I grab Lina's arm from my seat on the floor and look up into her eyes. "It isn't worth it, Lina."  
  
Lina opens her mouth to speak but Xelloss cuts her off.  
  
"If you refuse me, Zelgadis, you will die slowly and painfully. That body of yours cannot outlast the disease, but it'll be resilient enough to keep you around for a decade or two-though half of it will be spent blind, drooling, and possibly in diapers."  
  
I haul myself to my feet, ignoring my wooziness by way of concentrating on my rage. "I'll make myself human before that happens, you damn Mazoku! And trust me, I'll be able to do it."  
  
"SHUT UP!" Lina screeches. Like a red whirlwind she grabs me by the shoulders, thumbs against my throat. I look at her. She really has the most beautiful eyes.  
  
"You stupid, cruel, stubborn fool! Why didn't you say anything Zel!" Lina's rage becomes more desperate as her voice drops to a whisper. I stare at her concerned face with a guilty conscience. She places her head against my throat, causing my body to become rigid. "So many people love you, and all you want is to die? Damn it Zel, don't you understand anything? I don't want you dead!"  
  
Her words resonate through my weak heart. I don't know if she loves me, but I know I love her. I know I want everything in the world for her, and she's giving up her world for me. Where does that leave us?  
  
"I'm not letting you do this." I hold her close as I say this. "The sacrifice is too large. It would kill us both."  
  
Lina makes a noise that is both a sob and a growl at the same time. She pushes away from me easily.  
  
"What makes you think that it's a sacrifice?" she hisses. I pause, stunned. Xelloss' eyes snap open. "Maybe I want this. I can want this and your life as well!" She whirls on the Mazoku, placing a hand on his thigh. My shock and hurt fade as I see the tears in her eyes. She's bluffing.  
  
"I believe I made you a deal, Xelloss." Lina looks at me passively as Xelloss snakes his arms around her waist.  
  
Xelloss grins like a bloodthirsty predator. "I think we'll be needing our own room, Lina-chan."  
  
"Not until you deliver what you've promised," Lina says though gritted teeth. Xelloss' hand trails its way up to cup her face, delivering a not-so- gentle squeeze to her breasts as it travels. By the time his thumb traces those beautiful lips of hers, she is all ready crying heavy tears.  
  
This is what has always scared Lina. This proud creature is terrified by the notion of sexual intimacy-and Xelloss is thrilled by it. This will destroy her.  
  
"As you wish, my lovely." He looks at me with a triumphant smirk and points his staff towards my body.  
  
"XELLOSS!" I take a few shaky steps to reach them. Lina won't look at me. I place my hand on the red stone that lies at the top of his scepter.  
  
Xelloss raises an eyebrow, eyes slitted.  
  
"Take me instead."  
  
Mazoku eyes open completely. "Oh?"  
  
I grin as lazily as I can manage. "Don't try to play me. I know that I'm attractive to you."  
  
Xelloss looks sufficiently interested and steps forward, leaving Lina behind him. She can do nothing but try to staunch the flow of tears that fall from her terrified eyes.  
  
"And what gives you this idea, little chimera?" Xelloss chuckles darkly.  
  
"Just think, Xelloss. A powerful chimera all to yourself-and I won't break easily." I step up to the Mazoku, feeling ill as I lean in, placing my lips against his ear. "Look at Lina now. She will be broken before you even begin.and L-sama wouldn't want her very daughter damaged by one such as you. I'll last much longer."  
  
I intend to last long enough to kill him.  
  
Xelloss laughs again. "You believe you're so clever, Zelgadis." He grabs my neck roughly and jams four long, clawed hands into my side. I hiss at the pain but meet his gaze.  
  
"I could have you both, you realize," Xelloss purrs as I feel my body weaken. "I don't have to make a choice."  
  
"We both know you can't." I watch as Xelloss' eyes widen at my gamble. I smile then.  
  
Xelloss growls, but his eyes are amused. "Well little chimera.I will take you then. But keep in mind-I can break you. And I will."  
  
Xelloss turns to Lina. His hand is still in my side, dragging me with him. I cry out before I can stop myself.  
  
"Thank you for serving your purpose, my fiery one," he says. I gasp. Lina seems to finally regain control of herself. Her eyes widen and her mouth drops. Xelloss calmly lifts his free hand and extends it towards her. "Sleeping!"  
  
Lina drops to the ground.  
  
Xelloss looks down at me and sees the horror on my face. "I knew I'd get you somehow."  
  
+ + +  
  
rainjewel: Yeah. I take full credit for being a horrible, horrible person. I'm thinking writing a sequel for this, so that my warning of people fucking will actually be valid. *grins* That and for some reason I don't actually want Xelloss getting away with this.  
  
Zelgadis: YOU don't want HIM getting away with it? What about me? I have a deadly disease, am now a Mazoku's fuck toy, and-  
  
Ryan: Dude, stop. You'll just give her more reason to mess you  
  
rainjewel: *grinning toothily*  
  
Zelgadis: *eyes bugging out* I didn't know humans were supposed to have fangs.  
  
Ryan: They're not.  
  
rainjewel: AHEM. Well now that you're all done.I'd like to hear back from the readers about how they feel about a sequel. I'm not going to demand reviews to write one (people who do that REALLY bother me). I'm not a ficcer who will update ONLY if they get X amount of reviews. That's arrogant. I'd just like to hear from others out there-this doesn't mean necessarily that I'm going to write a sequel were everything turns out lovey and fuzzy.because if I was doing that, I'd 1) switch to the Sailor Moon fandom, and 2) KILL MYSELF. Just kidding! I actually do like the Sailor Moon fandom.  
  
Ryan: This would be a really good time to shut up.  
  
rainjewel: I'm sensing that. 


End file.
